Just like your computer has an operating system running while you’re working on it, you are probably driven by these 3 emotions.
When we start to question why we are doing what we are doing, and pay attention to the driving forces behind what we do, a whole different picture of our life appears. Being aware of our driving emotions and patterns helps us realize not only why we are acting or responding a certain way, but what actions come from who we really are, or the emotions that are driving us.
Fear is the first of these 3 emotions that are probably driving your life.
Fear is easy to see, but hard to admit. Fear is an emotion at is contractive…it’s limiting and leads to a whole landslide of negative emotions.
I think a lot of people get so used to being in some level of fear about so much of their lives they let it run their every choice. What is safe or not safe becomes a constant dialog in their heads. Fear can prevent us from growing, stop us from healing and ultimately stop us from really living.
I for one, I am an expert at talking myself out of things. Do you find yourself immediately saying no to things or talking yourself out of doing things? This is part of that wall we put up when we just want to stay in our safety zone and are really letting fear drive us.
So, I’d like to share with you a personal story about fear…
After having shoulder surgery and completely tearing my ACL off, they told me I would never ride a horse again. Anyone that knows me knew that would only last until the pain subsided enough for me to cope with getting on my gelding. And I did. The pain part was the least of my worries though.
For the first time in my life I had fear of even being around my horse. It wasn’t the horses, it was my weakened body and my mind telling me that I couldn’t move out of the way fast enough if I needed to, or that I might not be able to stay in the saddle if the horse was spooked or got going too fast for me. It was hard to admit and harder to get over. I had to learn to trust myself, and my horse even more.
I learned to use my fear of not being able to do something I live for, to push myself in physical therapy to heal faster. I had to use my love of horses to get over my rational fears of being hurt again. And the coolest thing about this whole fear is that being able to ride helped me get back in shape even faster. I even got my doctor to admit that me getting through my fear and getting back on a horse, which he was kind of pissed off about because he forbade it, had helped me to heal both injuries.
I wanted to share that story with you because toughing it out isn’t always the answer when dealing with fear. I place huge value on being brave and having courage when you need it, but the truth is when you are dealing with everyday fear that is driving your life, a different approach is better.
Besides paying more attention to when your fear shows up, being vulnerable with your fears and working through where they might come from, like my physical weakness, helps you be able to do something proactive to get through them.
So please, don’t just go through your life putting up that wall of fear and letting life pass you by.
Jump into your fear and figure it out and let it be a catalyst for growth.